Overheard

I think it's time for some more Overheard at Heartwood....

This happened a while ago, but nonetheless.
Student: I'm gettin married after I graduate.
Me: Oh yeah? To who?
Student: Oh, I don't know. [Looks around the gym, then points to another classmate] Maybe her!

Same student, but this happened today....
Student: [Points to me] Hey! Do you gots all your veins in there?

Some other funny things were said, I just can't remember them. I want to just write it all down immediately, but that probably wouldn't look good.

...groans that words cannot express.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.
-Romans 8:26-

I took the day off of work to re-group and spend some time with God. For some reason, the past week or two has just been rough for me. Last night I just knew I was being attacked.

So, I read that verse today and I was just floored. So often, I have a hard time with words and expressing what is on my mind. "I can't even find the words".

The Holy Spirit number one: knows the words I cannot find...and number two: takes care of it for me! What a relief!!

This image popped into my head of God/the Holy Spirit just weeping and groaning...feeling the same feelings I am...he has the same broken heart!

I am amazed!

The Signature of Jesus

One of the girls who works at Starbucks told me about this book, Abba's Child by Brennan Manning. She said it was really good, so while at Barnes and Noble yesterday, I decided to find it and possibly buy it. They didn't have any copies of it, but they did have another one of his books...The Signature of Jesus.
I've only read the preface and the first chapter, but I'm pretty sucked-in already.

"The greatest need for our time is for the church to become what it has seldom been: the body of Christ with its face to the world, loving others regardless of religion or culture, pouring itself out in a life of service, offering hope to a frightened world, and presenting itself as a real alternative to the existing argument."

"The reality of life for Christian men and women requires that they leave what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walk into the desert without rational explanations to justify their decisions or guarantee their future. Why? Solely and simply because God signals this movement and offers it his promise."

"The gospel will persuade no one unless it has so convicted us that we are transformed by it."

"When we fear failure more than we love life; when we are dominated by thoughts of what we might have been rather than by thoughts of what we might become; when we are haunted by the disparity between our ideal self and our real self; when we are tormented by guilt, shame, remorse, and self -condemnation, we deny our faith in the God of love."

"If we refuse to keep moving and insist on signs and tangible proofs, we diminish our faith."

And, finally, this quote, I believe, sums up pretty well what this book is about....

"This book is not a mincing pastoral, nor a series of well-behaved meditations for pious people. It is a book about being heroes and heroines for the sake of Jesus Christ--for the sake of no one less than Christ, and in such a fashion that only the eyes of Jesus need see. It is a summons to authentic faith and radical discipleship, to the purity of the gospel, to the high road to Calvary and the scandal of the Cross, to a life of freedom under the signature of Jesus."

Not enough, and yet too much.

I've never read Captivating, but now I kindof want to. I read this excerpt on one of the shift managers' (from work) Facebook.

"Every woman I've ever met feels it-something deeper than just the sense of failing at who she is. I am not enough and I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, and not disciplined enough. But too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy. The result is shame-the universal companion of women.... It haunts us, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone.... The message to the rest of us is TRY HARDER".
-Captivating

This just got me thinking about how hard I can be on myself. I mean, yes, I am human. I have faults; I sin. But I'm constantly scolding myself or criticizing myself. I'm constantly feeling like I could be more, do more, etc. Never good enough. And yet too much of certain things.

But what I really liked about this quote was it didn't end with "But the truth is that you're beautiful and amazing..." etc. All those feel good statements.
I love how the last sentence is "The message to the rest of us is try harder".

And that doesn't make me react in frustration or make me feel like "I am trying." It's motivating.
I don't know if that's what they're trying to say. I don't know if this is the whole quote from the book. I'm guessing it's not because of the "..." But...I hope that is what the authors meant. That's so much more appealing to me than the typical "But the truth is that you're beautiful and amazing..." quotes.

I know God loves me; I know he forgives me. But the "it's who I am" mindset can quickly become an excuse.
There's a balance. And I'm not sure what exactly that balance is, but I hope I will live my life in that balance more often than not.

I read Do You Think I'm Beautiful and after that book I gave up on the feel-good girlie almost self-help books. No offense to anyone who likes that book, but it's just not motivating for me to simply talk about my "issues" and end it with "But I'm okay, you're okay, we're all okay!" I need motivation to change it.